Swamped
I have so much work to do but during my break I thought I’d tumble because i have been thinking lately.
At uni so many of my friends are getting with each other and sleeping about right now which isn’t behaviour I’d personally entertain but it has got me thinking. It is so accepted here and before I arrived there were rumours that what was merely a drunken snog (and possible fumble) was in fact a lot more. The other half of this rumour (and the person spreading it, might I add) persuaded many of my friends that I was lying and it really upset me that they believed him. I feel ashamed in myself that people could believe this of me, even when it isn’t true. In fact, I probably feel worse because it isn’t true.
Being at uni has shown me how people behave. It seems to be human nature to get drunk and make these mistakes and no-one judges on the level that I was judged back home. I feel less ashamed now because my behaviour really was nothing. At aged 18 I got drunk and snogged some guy I’d known for a few years. No big deal. I just realised that over the last few days and it is a huge relief.
Now I’m at medical school, I’ve used a saw and bone cracking equipment to remove the thoracic cage from a 92 year old woman. I’ve felt her lungs and muscles, skin and fat. I’ve met cancer patients and babies. I have a wonderfully understanding boyfriend, fantastic new friends and my old friends still remain true. There is really nothing to worry about.
Well, other than all this work that’s piling up. But I’ll do it, I’ll do it well and I’ll continue on my journey to becoming the person I want to be.
Don’t mean to be vile but I am so sick atm. I am too far from home I just want to see my mum and we are strictly attendance monitored and have a huge day tomorrow do I can’t stay home but all day I’ve been stuck in bed, I’ve seen no-one as my close friends and flatmates all went home this weekend and I am literally scared that I may need to be in hospital. I slept all today and yesterday and I have spent the day with vomiting and diarrhoea to the point where i was sitting on the toilet and vomiting in the shower. I feel so depressed :(
YAY
Over the last 2 weeks the different academic tutorial groups in our year have each been set an essay that counts toward 5% of your module grade. As my tutor was ill I got my essay a week after everyone had received their’s and as a result I was so worried because I’d seen them all working and we had a numeracy test approaching that was also worth 5%. Everyone apart from my group got their grades last week and the average was a C. In my close circle of friends 5 people got Cs and 2 got Bs. WELL today I got my result and HONAS ALMIGHTY I got an A!!!!! So much excitement right there I just had to Tumble. Unfortunately I predict the maths will be horrendous but I only need a C to pass so I’ll try to chillax.
An update for my friends
Ben visited this weekend and we are officially back together. He makes me so happy, but I feel terrible now he has gone and I miss him. I am going home next weekend to pick up books and other shit I left behind when I thought I’d have less space than I do. Luckily on Thursday I have my first dissection so I will be able to console myself with my mother’s cooking if it doesn’t go too well.
Uni life
I have been here for over a week now and serious studies commenced today. Throughout ‘Freshers’ Week’ we have lectures from half 8 on the Sussex side of campus until mid afternoon. Living on the Brighton side made this a huge trek and these ‘lectures’ were mostly introductions and formalities. We also had a blood test and were introduced to many professionals that we’ll be working closely with over the next 5 years. I have partied hard; the arrival of a new flatmate last night saw the introduction of an unseemly game of ‘Ring of Fire’ and this morning at 9am I sat in the theatre listening to the nomenclature associated with anatomy and the movement of different types of joints with a pain in my neck and side. I live with 6 other medics and one primary school teaching student. Most of the flats here are all 8 medics and so it is nice to be slightly mixed. I have signed up for lacrosse, hockey and netball and to be a writer for our paper ‘The Murmer’. I have to go and eat/nap now before afternoon ‘Learning and Development’ lectures. I’m looking forward to seeing how things pan out.
